What should I Bring to Mediation?

kathleen bar-tur photo You are probably expecting to be given a list of items like tax returns, wedding certificates, a copy of your credit card bills, and yes, documentation of all your assets, marital and otherwise, so that you can sit and haggle-out an amenable agreement with your soon to be, ex-spouse even though you'd rather not have to. But, the most important item to bring with you is not material, it's your optimism. Your ability to imagine a better future, for yourself, for your child. if you are lucky enoug

Choosing the Right Way to Divorce For You

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to speak at the Jewish Community Center in New York City about how to choose the right process to Divorce and I thought I would share it with you. My recent blog “Get Yourself Free” covered briefly the four ways to divorce in the state of New York. I began my talk sharing this information and after a brief survey of the participants, it appeared that we had individuals who would most likely benefit from each process;, all, that is with the exception of Pr

I DON’T Love Your children!

kathleen bar-tur photo A few weeks ago I had lunch with a judge from Nassau County whom I respect very much. We were talking about difficult parenting discussions I have had with clients and she stopped me with this story: “Do you know what I say to couples who turn up in my courtroom?  First, I ask them what they are doing in my courtroom. They explain they are there to settle a custody issue. I then ask them, "Do you love your children? Well, then what are you doing here?  Because, I don’t love your childre