Most couples go through some difficult period or periods in their relationship. Often these difficult times are connected to transitions and adjustments in the family or in an individual family member. A child’s leaving for college, the death of a parent, the loss of a job. Ideally when a couple is faced with a need to adjust, they should be able to turn to each other. Unfortunately, some couples are unable to experience each other as a source of support and safety at these moments. As I see it, my job is to help couples discover the patterns of behavior that have brought them to this stage of their relationship and afterwards, to show them ways to connect and rediscover their relationship in the present. As Freud noted, the finding of a love object (mate), is the re-finding of a love object (parent). I work from the perspective that one’s family of origin has much to tell us about one’s current relationship with a partner.
